Yesterday I stood outside on the deck, listening to the rustle of the sycamore leaves in the wind. The sun was bright, and the only signs it was a winter day in Texas were a nip in the air and the withering leaves still clinging to the trees.

Time is going by so quickly. I get very reflective about this time each year, but it feels different now, and in a good way. I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be, and I look ahead with excitement and anticipation of what’s to come, what I can accomplish.

It wasn’t very long ago that my end-of-year reflections were full of pain, frustration, and longing for something else. While that’s never a good spot to be in, it’s especially challenging later in life, when you feel as though it’s too late to do anything about it.

For the last couple of years of my 29-year marriage, I often heard my inner voice say, “You’re not where you’re supposed to be.” Even after getting divorced and in the early stages of rebuilding my life, the refrain kept playing in my brain. Before the divorce, I understood why I heard it – the marriage was difficult at best, and wasn’t a marriage in any true sense of the word. I was sad, angry, and lost. I had resigned myself to sticking things out and keeping up appearances. I was not truly living.

But why did I feel that way even after taking action? As I look back on it now, I realize that it was because I was doing the deep inner work to excavate some uncomfortable truths. I still wasn’t where I was supposed to be because I still had work to do.

While that work really never ends – not if we’re lifelong learners – the good news is that we can reach a point where we find ourselves, find our path and our calling, our best lives.

And so this year, my reflective season feels full of joy and hope. I am at peace with myself instead of doing battle internally. I like who I’ve become, and recognize that the scars earned along the way are as much a part of me as the bright future ahead.

I wouldn’t change a thing, and that makes me very happy.